Busy as a bee!

Well, journal, it's been a while since I last checked in, but life has kept me on my toes. Lately, I've been caught up in work—an amazing job with excellent pay, something that feels rewarding both financially and mentally. But, of course, the money never seems to stretch as far as the time it took to earn it. It's like there's always something else calling for it, you know?

On the bright side, I finally got my Harley-Davidson! A dream come true, and I’ve been itching to take it out every chance I get. There’s something about the freedom of the open road that gets me out of my own head, a true sense of calm that’s hard to find elsewhere. Between work and everything else, those rides have become a bit of therapy, a way to unwind and leave the stress behind, even if just for a little while.

And then there’s the house. After all this time and effort, I'm finally looking at closing on a place of my own. It feels like a huge milestone, one I've been waiting on for years. The thought of having a space that's mine, to make into a real home, is a dream that’s finally becoming reality. Here’s hoping it all goes smoothly.

Dear You

Dear you,

I just want you to know that I forgive you. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on everything that happened between us, and I’ve come to realize that the choices you made like the prostitution and manipulation, as painful as they were for me to witness and experience, were likely the only way you knew to survive. I understand now that the path you chose—things that caused so much chaos in my life—were your ways of getting by, your methods of navigating a world that might not have given you any other options.

I won’t pretend it didn’t hurt. It did. But holding onto that pain only keeps me anchored to the past, and I refuse to let it have that power over me anymore. I don't harbor ill feelings towards you; instead, I wish you find a way to heal and grow. This is my way of releasing what once felt like an endless cycle of hurt and resentment. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, and I hope life treats you better moving forward.

Take care.

My Worth!

I will never understand how I let myself get tangled up with someone like that—a complete whore! What was I even thinking? How did I ever believe there was any potential for something real, something meaningful? It's baffling to me how I allowed myself to be deceived by empty promises and superficial charm. It feels like I was drawn into a web of lies, convincing myself that this could be something more than what it clearly was.

But here's the thing—since then, I've realized my own value. I’ve stopped allowing the scum of the earth to creep into my life. It’s funny how things change when you take out the trash. Life just gets better. Suddenly, bills are paid, I’ve got reliable transportation, and I'm getting my life back on track. I’m even starting college again to pursue my LCDC.

It's a powerful feeling, recognizing that I don’t have to settle for less, that I’m worth so much more than the garbage I used to put up with. I’m not going back. I’ve learned my lesson, and I’m done with letting anyone or anything drag me down. I know what I bring to the table now, and I’m not letting anyone take that from me again.

I Am Worthy

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to finally understand that I deserve the better things in life. For so many years, I was living under this false impression that I didn’t deserve good things, like I somehow wasn’t worthy of happiness or respect. I look back now and realize how many trashy people—especially women—I allowed into my life. I gave my energy to people who didn’t deserve it, who offered nothing but drama and toxicity, and I accepted it like it was normal. I settled for the bare minimum, for less than what I actually needed or wanted, like I didn’t have the right to ask for more.

But something has shifted. Now, I wouldn’t even entertain them for a second. I wouldn’t give those same people the time of day if they tried to come back into my life. It’s crazy to me how much my perspective has changed. I see now just how trashy they were, and how far beneath me they really were. It’s not even about thinking I’m better than anyone—it's about recognizing that I am worth more, and I shouldn’t have to lower my standards or accept crap just to keep people around.

I’ve spent too long settling for mediocrity, convincing myself that it was all I deserved. But now I know that’s not true. I deserve more than just surviving. I deserve happiness, love, respect, and good people around me. From here on out, I’m raising the bar. No more letting trashy people into my life. I’m done settling for anything less than what I’m worth.

The Power of Private Investigators: My Newfound Respect for the Profession

I have to admit, I never gave much thought to private investigators. Like most people, I figured they were just the ones lurking in the shadows with a camera, snapping a few covert pictures, and maybe following someone around. Little did I know how wrong I was. After a recent deep dive into their world, I've come to respect the hell out of what they do. The power these professionals wield is nothing short of amazing.

To be blunt, I didn't realize how damn good they are at their jobs. They aren't just playing detective; they're methodical, thorough, and have this knack for uncovering details that would escape the average eye. It's like they've got a sixth sense for sniffing out hidden truths. They know how to navigate the fine line between legality and getting results, which is where their real power lies. That’s a skill you don’t learn overnight.

From uncovering fraud, proving infidelity, to digging up dirt on someone's background, these folks are on a level I never expected. The moment you hire a private investigator, it’s like flipping on a light switch in a dark room. Suddenly, things you couldn’t see, couldn’t figure out, start coming into focus. They dig deeper, move faster, and operate more effectively than most of us can even imagine.

The tools they have at their disposal? Insane. And the ways they use those tools, well, let’s just say there are few things they can’t figure out. It’s not just about following someone to see if they’re meeting up with someone they shouldn’t. They’re building timelines, cross-referencing data, pulling up old records, and piecing together evidence in ways that make you wonder how they can keep it all straight.

Hiring a private investigator isn’t just about spying on someone, it’s about finding the truth. Whether it's proving someone lied, confirming suspicions, or simply giving you peace of mind, they deliver results that make a real difference.

I have a whole new respect for the profession, and anyone who has worked with one knows exactly what I’m talking about. They’re not just out there with a camera and some binoculars – they’re professionals, and damn good ones at that.

Skeletons

Recently, I’ve come to a stark realization about the nature of crossing paths with others: if you choose to go down that road, you had better be sure that there aren’t any skeletons lurking in your closet. It’s easy to forget, but life has a way of unearthing those hidden truths when you least expect it. The things you thought were long buried, the secrets you convinced yourself would never see the light of day, can suddenly be brought out into the open. And when that happens, it’s not just a minor disruption—it has the potential to completely turn your life upside down.

Everything you’ve worked to build, your relationships, your career, your sense of security, can all be shaken to the core. What you thought was private can become public, and the weight of that exposure can be crushing. It’s a reminder that actions have ripple effects, and sometimes those ripples reach further than you ever imagined, especially when there are unresolved matters lying in wait. There’s a vulnerability in knowing that the skeletons you hide can become weapons others use against you. And when that day comes, it’s not just about facing your past—it’s about surviving the aftermath as your world potentially unravels before your eyes.

Trial Time

Well, journal, here we go!

Looks like we’re headed to trial. I tried every way to dodge this, but it seems like there's no avoiding it now.

The good news? This time, I’ve got a damn good lawyer on my side. Decided to drop the pro se act—no more solo rides through this legal storm. With a solid legal team backing me up and Melissa at the helm, ready to call the witnesses who’ll speak the truth, I get my chance to finally defend myself, to prove once and for all that I'm not the monster some people are making me out to be.

Preparations Are Underway

Journal Entry: Preparations for the March to The Department Of Justice Washington, DC 

August 2024

The march isn’t starting today, but the groundwork is being laid. The idea of walking from Fort Worth to Washington, DC feels like a massive undertaking, but each step in the preparation process is bringing me closer to making it a reality.

Right now, it's all about logistics—planning the route, figuring out how to cover 48 miles each day for a total of 29 days, and making sure everything is in place for the live streams on TikTok. The goal is to make sure the world sees this journey, understands what I've been through, and watches as I march to demand justice.

This is strictly about justice. I’m tired of the wrongdoings that have been piled on me over the past year. It's time to make my voice heard, to stand up against the lies and the corruption, and to show that I won't be silenced. Enough is enough.

There's a lot to consider—where I'll rest each night, how to keep the momentum going, and ensuring I have the right gear to handle the journey. Every detail matters. This isn't just a walk; it's a statement.

I'm preparing mentally and physically, too. Fifty miles a day isn't a casual stroll—it's going to push me to my limits. But that's exactly what I need right now. This is a fight, and I'm ready to go the distance.

The support I've received so far has been incredible. Knowing that people will be tuning in, following along, and cheering me on during the march is giving me the strength to keep pushing forward.

As I finalize the details, I can feel the anticipation building. This march is going to be a testament to my resilience and determination. It's about showing Denton County, Tarrant County, and the world that I won’t back down.

When the time comes, I'll be ready to take that first step out of Fort Worth, live-streaming every mile, every challenge, and every victory. This is the calm before the storm, and I’m ready to make some noise.

2.5 Hours

The feeling of being unheard is an agonizing weight upon my soul. Is death the only way to finally break through this deafening silence? Why is it that my words, my thoughts, my very existence, seem to matter only when they serve the needs and desires of others? Why is it that my voice, my truth, my cries for understanding, are so effortlessly silenced?

I am not the monster they paint me to be. I am not the villain in their self-serving narrative. I am a human being, with a beating heart, with dreams and fears, with hopes and regrets. But in their eyes, I am nothing more than a convenient scapegoat, a vessel for their blame, a target for their scorn.

Now, in the face of their relentless attacks, not even a flicker of hope remains within me. In my death I hope that someday, someone, will see through the lies, will hear my unspoken words, will recognize the truth that lies buried beneath the surface. I have no strength to resist, I must surrender to their twisted game and end my story today.

Farewell

To everyone in this cruel, ugly world,

I'm writing this to say goodbye. I've spent too long trying to understand and fit into a society filled with manipulators, liars, cheaters, and thieves. I used to feel bad because I didn't fit in, but now I see that to fit in, I'd have to lower my standards, and that's something I'll never do.

This world isn’t for me. It’s built on deceit and betrayal, and I refuse to be a part of it any longer. I've kept my integrity and values intact, even when it meant standing alone. The pain of being different, of not conforming to the twisted norms of this society, has weighed heavily on me, but I've always chosen the high road.

Throughout my life, I've encountered people who have done nothing but take advantage of my kindness, manipulate my trust, and betray my faith in humanity. Each encounter has been a harsh reminder of the darkness that pervades this world. From so-called friends who turned their backs on me, to those who lied and cheated their way into my life, each experience has chipped away at my spirit.

I used to believe that there was good in everyone, that somewhere beneath the surface, there was a spark of decency. But time and time again, I've been proven wrong. The world is full of people who would rather step on others to get ahead than extend a hand to help. It's a sad reality, but one I can no longer ignore.

I've fought my battles, faced my demons, and endured more than anyone should have to. But I'm tired. Tired of the constant struggle to maintain my dignity in a world that has none. Tired of trying to find light in the darkness when all that surrounds me is shadows.

To those who have shown me kindness and love, I thank you. You were the rare exceptions in a sea of cruelty. Your presence was a balm to my soul, and I am grateful for the moments of peace and understanding you provided.

But to the rest, to the manipulators, the liars, the cheaters, and the thieves – this is my farewell. You will no longer have the power to hurt me. I am taking my leave from this world that never understood me and never will.

Goodbye to a society that values deceit over honesty, treachery over loyalty, and self-interest over compassion. I choose to hold on to my principles, my sense of right and wrong, even if it means walking this path alone.

Farewell.

Curtis

It's Time

Ugly World! You Win!