My Crossroads

Well here I am yet again at a crossroads of my life and I don't know which way to go. Over the last couple of months almost a year now I've been in a rut that I never thought I would be able to get out of. Narcissism lies jealousy anger all of them seem to be the only thing revolving around me lately. I remember last year I asked someone to come get me please cuz I was in a bad spot. I was told no and I had to stay where I was at in misery. And now about a year later about a month ago I was told the 25 years was basically a waste and my last bit of Hope was stripped from me that day. And all the chaos and frustration tired of being broke I went out to collect money that was owed to me and then doing so I got arrested for having an ID card that was in my possession that was left by accident by somebody I was trying to help. This arrest was placed at a felony level and the prosecutor was wanting me to do a little less than a year in jail based on the fact that I had a history when I was younger. But I got news today I guess the girl that left the id in my truck fessed up and told the judge everything that she's the one that owned it she's the one that accidentally left it in my possession and that I truly knew nothing about the origin of this ID. Once she did that the judge accepted it she added on another felony to her list of other felonies that she was incarcerated for and attacked on an additional five years to her sentence. I was elated to know that somebody actually did what they say they were going to do and sacrificed for me. My lawyer called later in the afternoon and told me that the prosecutor is going to drop the charges. I was so happy knowing that this was going to go away when I truly was only trying to help someone as I have done for years. The day that I got to charge for the ID there was a gun in the truck that belong to my mother but I got charged for it a misdemeanor no big deal right? Well the prosecutor still under the impression that back in the 90s when I got in trouble at a criminal is always a criminal and she wants me to do no less than a month in jail on a gun charge when she was originally going to drop it but she's got a set for me to do some time in jail based on my past. I guess what they say is true once a criminal always a criminal. It doesn't matter that I haven't been in trouble in over 30 years it doesn't matter that I owned a ministry and that I was helping feed the homeless and keep him warm in the winter giving them the shirt off my back when I really didn't have it. Why the f*** is it fair for us to pay our dues and then go above and beyond what we have to do to make restitution to society for what I felt I did wrong. Now 30 years later my past is trying to dictate my present. Is society telling me that I will always be a criminal and that that's what I should be doing?