Well, I didn't see this coming. Or did I? Maybe I just didn't want to admit it. I've realized society as a whole has lost its luster with me. I've made so many attempts to try to help people when I didn't have to. It's because I think people need help when they're being taken advantage of or when they're being done wrong.
This past Christmas season, countless numbers of people's identities were being stolen. I'm talking over 10,000 identities, and I tried to get it taken care of. I tried to let the authorities know; I even called banks. No one would return my calls. So, I took it upon myself to start calling the people on the list to warn them and was met with hate and discontent.
Even lately, there's a gentleman I know who got blamed for some stuff he didn't do. I know the people that blamed him, and I know for a fact they set him up to take the fall. I've notified his family through another pen name that I use, and none of them care. None of them stepped up to the plate to help him simply because he's an addict.
I've fed countless people. I've tried to take blankets and jackets to them in the cold. I've given the last dime in my pocket, and yet I'm persecuted for trying to be kind to my ex-girlfriend. All the dialectical behavior therapy, all the counseling sessions, all the sessions with my psychiatrist, all the medications... Yeah, I'm stronger in my head, more resilient to the torrents and stuff that life throws at me day to day.
Now, I'm okay with being alone because I like myself, and I know I deserve better than what I've been getting. But people suck. My brain tells me to just end it, shut it down, be done with it because I'll never fit into society. I can't be like society is. I can't take advantage, I can't hurt people, I can't take from them. Why does life have to be this way?
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