The Daydreamer

When I was young, a daydreamer at heart,  

Imagining fatherhood, playing my part.  

I'd think of the teachings, the games we'd play,  

Exploring life's wonders, in our unique way.

I'd ponder their laughter, their eyes, their cry,  

"What makes them giggle? What makes them shy?"  

Dreaming of faces not yet seen,  

Voices unheard, in a world so serene.

Then, life spun its magic, in the most splendid of ways,  

Blessing me with kids, brightening my days.  

We laughed, we cried, through thick and thin,  

Battling sickness, our differences within.

I tried to be their shield, their steadfast rock,  

Guarding them from life's hard knock.  

A protector of dreams, chaser of fears,  

Ready to wipe away all their tears.

But life, the trickster, played its part,  

Turned me into their nightmare, it broke my heart.  

Once their hero, now the cause of their fright,  

How do I vanish from their sleepless night?

What to do when you're the boogeyman they see?  

When they need protection, but the monster is me?  

A father's dilemma, twisted and dire,  

How do I extinguish this unwanted fire?

So here I stand, a paradox at best,  

Juggling love and fear in my chest.  

Seeking redemption, I must be kidding, instead I plea,

Please God listen and take my soul from me.