Dear diary,
I'm sitting here in complete isolation from everyone. I have no money, no food, no cigarettes, no compassion, no love, and no caring. And I'm supposed to want to continue living?
Now that I'm clean and off of drugs, I have nothing to buffer the pain I'm feeling. I'm going through a lot of mental torture, and I have to feel it all. There's no one there to help me.
Where is the fairness in this? Who is everyone to say that I have to endure this anymore? What gives them the right to say how much I get to suffer? I gave my ex-girlfriend a place to stay, food in her belly, and a warm place to sleep. I loved her, and now that I have borderline personality disorder, she treats me like I'm an animal.
The other day, I was sitting here just thinking and messing around with a piece of rope. Before I knew it, I'd made a noose. Is this a subconscious hint as to what needs to be done? Is this the way it's going to end? Is it time to hang myself? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm in so much pain, and I feel so alone
No comments:
Post a Comment