hello diary

Dear Diary,

I'm not fine. I'm not okay. I'm not even sure what's happening to me anymore. I'm learning to hate and not feel anything on a whole new level nowadays. It's like I'm numb to everything. I can't feel happiness, sadness, anger, or anything in between. I'm just... empty.

I think it's because I'm clean now. I mean, I'm not using drugs or alcohol anymore, and that's a good thing. But I didn't realize how much those things were masking my feelings. Now that I'm sober, I can feel everything, and it's overwhelming.

I'm starting to hate everyone and everything. I feel like I'm trapped in this world of pain and suffering, and there's no way out. I just want to be left alone. I don't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone. I just want to disappear.

I know that's not healthy, but I can't help it. I'm so tired of feeling this way. I just want to feel normal again.

But I know that's impossible. I'm never going to be the same person I was before. I've changed, and I can't change back.

I guess I just have to learn to live with this new version of myself. I have to learn to accept that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life