Diary Entry - December 7, 2023
The countdown is on. Each hour brings me closer to the point of no return, where there are no rewinds, no second chances, no erasing the past. It's one of those black and white moments, irreversible and etched in stone.
I'm trying to be okay with it. I gave myself time, hoping to witness a shift, a flicker of growth, a spark of faith in people, and even in myself. But with each passing struggle, the embers of hope seem to dwindle, fading into a desolate emptiness.
It's a painful truth to accept – that all my efforts, all the love I poured out, might soon be rendered meaningless, washed away like sandcastles in the tide. In just a few weeks, the weight of this impending reality threatens to crush me.
Yet, amidst this despair, a tiny flicker of defiance remains. I refuse to surrender entirely. I will continue to fight, to hold onto hope, even if it's just a sliver, a whisper in the wind. For even in the face of potential loss, the human spirit yearns to believe, to find meaning, to hold onto the possibility of a brighter tomorrow.
So, I write this not as a farewell, but as a testament to the human spirit's resilience. Even as the darkness encroaches, I will not let the light within me be extinguished. I will keep fighting, searching for a path, a way forward, no matter how small or uncertain it may seem for now I will wait until the last second waiting for the phone to ring. maybe I'll get a pardon? We shall see!
This is my promise to myself, written on the eve of uncertainty. A promise to keep hope alive, to fight for what I believe in, and to never give up, even when all seems lost.
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